My Journal of Healing from Codependent Relationships and Trauma Bonds……..

My first codependent relationship was with my father. I remember trying to get his attention in his garage while he worked on the family car at the age of 7 years old. I so badly wanted to learn how to work on cars from him. I remember him telling me that “working on cars is for boys” and suggesting that I go inside and help my mother make lunch. It was this ongoing rejection from my father that planted the seed for external validation from the boys and men in my life. 

I still notice how I crave the attention of men. It has been a lifetime of unfulfilling sexual experiences and short term relationships. I kept seeking the sense of worthiness that I was craving from others. When I was in kindergarten I remember feeling a rush of dopamine and a sense of worthiness when a boy talked to me or showed any interest in me. I was very shy and would act as though I was not interested in them knowing that they would try harder to get my attention. 

I continued to play this game all throughout my teenage years. Enjoying the excitement of “playing hard to get” and then evidently going on a date with a boy, just to get bored with him quickly and break up with him. With each break up I felt a sort of empowerment and need to continue to feed this “hungry ghost”, never fully satisfied and always looking for more male attention. 

According to Buddhist teachings, “hungry ghosts” are creatures with large empty bellies and small, scrawny necks and tiny little mouths, so they can never get enough, they can never fill this emptiness on the inside. A metaphor for addiction which is all about trying to fill that emptiness from the outside. My addiction to attention from men was affecting my life in many ways. 

At the age of 16 years old a very popular senior football player at my high school expressed his interest in me. We sat next to each other in typing class. I remember that I used to wear Jordache perfume and he commented on how good I smelled. After a few weeks of looks and the obvious sense of physical attraction, he asked me out on a date. I remember that he picked me up in his landrover jeep and took me on an adventure. I was so enamored by his looks and charm. Right away I felt a deep sense of wanting to please and impress him. This was to be my first sexual encounter and I felt the entanglement happen as soon as we started engaging in sexual activities. 

We tried to keep it secret, my parents didn’t talk to me about sex or relationships. Our encounters progressed from kissing and groping to penetration when we were both drunk on rum one weekend while he was house sitting for a friend. I was not ready for the level of intensity that I would experience when he left for college two months later after our summer fling. 

I showed up at his college dorm after “borrowing” my dad’s car without permission. I had driven 3 hours in the rain to get there, the farthest I had ever driven on my own. When I showed up unexpectedly, heartbroken and in tears, he didn’t know how to respond. He was just an 18 year old young man. I felt so rejected and abandoned. I remember walking out to the parking lot with my head hanging down and getting into my car. I peered up at his dorm room window grieving the loss of my first “lover”. 

I feel that this traumatic “breakup” further stirred up within me anger towards men. All I wanted was someone who would accept me as I was and appreciate me. Why do I keep getting rejected, first by my father then by my first lover. My sense of worthiness would continue to decline as I rationalized that the issue must be that something was wrong with me. It didn't occur to me that maybe the issue was not me but the other person. Maybe these two men who had such an effect on my sense of value were deeply suffering themselves and unable to understand their impact on me. 

Fast forward a bit to age 47 and looking back upon many years of deep reflection I understand that my value is not tied to whether or not someone can see or appreciate my value. After many years of talk therapy, behavioral therapy, plant medicines, journaling, self care and many failed codependent relationships, I now understand that my value is intrinsic. I finally have a strong sense of self and it continues to grow and I discover my value and appreciate myself more and more through self-love practices and time alone. 

One of my most pivotal experiences was when I took a 6 week solo “shadow work” retreat in Mexico for my 46th birthday. I had reached a point of frustration and overwhelm in my intimate relationships. I had just gone through a 3 year period of intense 3-4 month romances, culminating in a polyamorous situation where I was dating 3 different men and feeling ultimately unfulfilled with all of them. I gently released my intimate relationships and made a vow to myself to maintain my celibacy until I was in a healthy long-term committed relationship. 

During my 6 weeks in Oaxaca, Mexico I experienced days of silence, long walks alone along dusty winding roads and nights of hyper-real dreams. I found myself spending long days naked in front of the ocean, watching the waves crash on the shore and listening to the chatter of nearby vacationing families. I treated myself to dinner and new bathing suits. I went on adventures and danced wildly at parties where I didn’t know anyone at all. 

All of this deep solo work felt like a homecoming. I began to truly appreciate myself, my courage, my strength, my beauty. I spent hours journaling and listening to audiobooks on self love. When I returned to Oregon after my time in Mexico, I felt much more centered. Even amidst the social setting of my hometown, where I knew so many and had dated for the past 4 years, I felt very committed to my intent to remain celibate. I no longer felt this deep need for outside approval through endless flirting and romantic pursuits. I felt good about myself and no longer felt the need for a “second half” to feel complete. 

I believe that someone really shifted in during my time alone in Mexico, a combination of resolve and curiosity about what it might feel like to have a deep sense of self love. I am convinced that this took many, many years of “failures” but ultimately I was able to leverage those experiences to bring me closer to home, closer to myself. Because in the end all we have is ourselves to love and appreciate. I am sure that when I am 87 years old and enjoying my “crone” years I will be so grateful for the work that I did to cultivate a deeper sense of love for my innate being that isn’t tied to vanity or external attention. 

My path is ongoing, as life continues to unfold, I continue to evolve into my true authentic sense of self. It is a beautiful journey that has no real destination, only a continual return to my breath, my body, my senses, my heart of hearts. The truth is, I have never been separate from this love of self, I just forgot and all those years of troubling experiences were signposts on my path of rediscovery of Self. 

Aloha,

Athena Rose

Luminated Heart Healing Arts

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The Power of Being Alone….

Have you ever considered what percentage of your life you spend alone? From the time of your birth to the moment you die, I wonder how much time most people spend alone? The statistics indicate that the time you spend alone will increase as you age. People under the age of 40 spend about 3.5 hours alone. People between 40 and 59 years old spend about 4 hours and 45 minutes alone. People 60 and older spend about 7 hours alone. Does this information feel true for you?

I certainly feel as though my time alone has increased with my years. During my childhood and adolescence I would try my best to get away from others by hiding inside my room, going for long bike rides on my 10-speed and shutting myself inside the bathroom for hours. I grew up during a time when cell phones or the internet were not available to me. These times that I spent alone were spent reading books (I loved fantasy adventure books), painting or listening to music. 

As a very young girl, I have memories of playing with my toys on the floor and watching my mother cook and clean my childhood home. Now at the age of 47 it has been increasingly challenging for me to intentionally take time alone without some sort of distraction from the outside world. Social media and online information has become a normal part of our everyday life and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. If anything, humans will find more interesting ways to look outside of themselves for distraction. 

I would like to be a person who advocates for as much time alone as possible, without your phone. These precious moments that are available to us are not a waste of time. Even if you are not looking at the latest Twitter thread, your time in nature or laying in bed with a good book are so valuable to your mental health. The power available to you in your alone time equates to more self-awareness, more self appreciation, less stress, more emotional regulation and overall more potency in your relationships when you do decide to engage with others. 

Now that my children are adults or nearing adulthood, I can truly enjoy my time alone and make it a priority. I deeply value those times of respite and rejuvenation in my life. I remember craving them deeply as a young mother of five, with literally no time to myself. Now here I am in my grandmother phase and asking all of you to consider the power of being alone. I challenge you to set aside time in your busy day, for even just 30 minutes, to take a bath, lay in bed and focus on your breathing or take a walk alone in nature. 

This time spent alone is priceless and when you look back upon your life chances are you wish that you had more time to yourself. Parents especially need to fill up their cups in order to be fully present with their children. Lovers need time apart to truly appreciate each other’s presence. If you need support and guidance in structuring your day so that you can get alone time, please reach out to me. I would love to listen to you and help you find solutions for reducing stress and making space for self-nourishment. Subscribe to my free weekly newsletter for more information and resources as we all learn how to embody radical self love and healthy relating. 

Much Aloha,

Athena Rose

Luminated Heart Healing Arts.

Why it’s critical that Mothers have support.

During my late teenage years I became unexpectedly pregnant with my first child. I was only 18 years old and had no clue how to take care of myself, let alone an infant. At the age of 19 years old I gave birth to a baby boy that was to spend the next 2 weeks in the NICU inside of an incubator and eventually grow up and develop severe schizophrenia. My 28 year old first born son is now currently housed in the state mental hospital and heavily medicated in order to control the paranoid thoughts that have pledged him since early childhood. 

Looking backwards, if I had the support and education that I really needed as a young Mama, I believe that my son would be a much healthier adult. Unfortunately in our current society mother’s are not supported in the ways they should be. In these modern times, mothers are expected to contribute to the household income and make sure that there are plenty of resources for themselves and their children. It has been very common for me to hear from mother’s that their partner does not support them equally and expects them to take care of the household responsibilities, care for the children’s needs and provide a source of income for the family. In my years of holding Wombyn’s circles I frequently hold space for women as they cry frustrated tears and lament their choice to have a child. 

That is to say if the mother even has a partner at home…..I have spent 13+ years as a single mother now. The rate of single parents in the US is a staggering 27% according to the most recent US Census. Of those single parents documented, 80% of them are mothers. There are over 11 million single parent families in the US. With the rates this high, chances are you know a single mama. That being said we all have a responsibility to help raise the children from these households. Of course single father’s need help as well. We all need to pay more attention to our neighbors and community members and get out of our fears around “getting too involved”. Change will not happen if brave souls are not willing to step forth and assist those that need help. 

In kind, single parents need to be encouraged to ask for help. It is a totally unreasonable expectation that single parents or any parents for that matter take care of these precious future generations without some serious community support. As a single mother I definitely could have used more support but I did have some special angelic beings step up and assist me when I needed help. There was an elderly man who lived across the street from me when I was raising a young transgender autistic child and also doing my best to support myself and my alcoholic boyfriend. Even though I felt lost and frustrated and eventually broke up with the boyfriend, this kind neighbor was a safe space for my son to go and receive loving attention.

There are many ways we can support single parents in our community. One of which is to get to know our neighbors. To be bold enough to form relationships and show kindness, even if it is in small ways, such as saying hello or sharing a meal. I would have really appreciated occasional child care from my neighbors, even just a small break after work so that I could take a bath and have a quiet house for a moment. These small respites are critical for the mental health and physical well being of parents. Supporting parents translates into healthier communities, less crime, less addiction and less suffering in the world. 

I am on a mission to be a supportive person in the lives of parents, especially single mothers. Those brave souls who have chosen to bring life into the world, so that humanity can continue to live are worthy of our attention. If you know someone that needs support, please reach out to them and offer a hand. I am available to support single parents by holding space as a counselor, mentor and guide. I know the need for encouragement to take time to relax and I understand the pressures that single parents feel everyday for a long time….

Reach out to me to let me know how I can support your needs and assist you with finding time to attend to your own needs. We all need encouragement sometimes to slow down and make ourselves the priority so that we can show up for our children in the best possible way. 

Aloha,

Athena Rose

Luminated Heart Healing Arts

What has Motherhood taught me

I remember waking up in my bed in the middle of the night with terrible leg cramps. Literally my whole calf and foot would seize up and cause me to wake up from a heavy slumber. The only solution would be to get up and walk on my leg until it stopped. I was about 7 months pregnant and so needed deep rest. This particular night my movement woke up the youngest child in the other room and she needed water and a diaper change. I would take my exhausted body into the other room and gently attend to my Autistic toddler. 

I have spent my whole adult life as a parent. I went straight from being a rebellious teenage nightmare child to a dedicated non stop Mommy machine. Those first 12 years of my adult life were full of diaper changes, breastfeeding and sleep deprivation. Looking back I wouldn’t trade them for the world! What a precious time in my life. Time that I will never get back. Now my youngest son is 15 years old. What motherhood taught me is to really slow down and appreciate each moment. 

Here I am now 47 years old and about to become a Grandmother for the 2nd time. I so wish that I had those moments back. I frequently explore those times in my life in my dreams and really enjoy the feeling of co-sleeping with my little ones or breastfeeding an infant. I would not do things the same way if given a second chance at young motherhood. I would definitely take better care of my body and rest more frequently. 

Years of neglecting my body through giving and giving from an empty cup have taken a toll on my health. This past year I have had to look deeply at how I can nourish myself so that I can live the rest of my life in an energetic and enjoyable way. Through a mini health crisis my body spoke loudly to me about the need to pay attention and show up for myself in ways I have never done before. 

This year of 2023 has been a year of “Radical Self Love”. I am so grateful because I have learned so much about how to tend to this precious body and how to appreciate each day as a beautiful gift. I have connected so deeply to my breath, my thoughts, my heart in ways I never thought possible. I honestly don’t know anyone else currently who is so dedicated to self-care practices. 

I would love to support your journey towards greater levels of self-care and appreciation. Please reach out to me to share your story and don’t be afraid to ask for help! I remember thinking that I could do everything myself as a young mother of five, but I know now how deeply we need others to support us and encourage us towards self love……

Aloha,

Athena Rose

I used to cut myself and hated my body….

I still have the scars on my body from when I would self-harm as a depressed teenager. My life at the time was full of angst, restlessness and depression. I only thought about escaping. I found little to no joy in my life experience and I felt trapped in a body that I hated. Eventually this changed, but not without many more years of self-harm and self abuse. 

I remember the first time that I tried to end my life. I was probably about 16 years old and had just gone through a break up with my first boyfriend. He and I had spent a magical summer together and I had my first sexual experience with him. He ended up going to college in a city 3 hours away with no warning. I felt heartbroken and confused. It was clear looking back that I had become deeply attached to his validation. 

Fast forward 31 years later and through many failed codependent relationships, I finally feel free from the tendency to attach to others in this way. How did I do this? What methods were helpful to me and how can you break free from codependency in your own relationships? The key to my transformation lies in a deep daily practice of self-acceptance. 

I now understand that the reason that I attached so deeply to external validation is because I saw no value in myself. I lacked the appreciation of myself as a unique human being and equated my value to others opinions of me. This is actual bondage on emotional and physical levels. There is no denying now how much more liberated I feel in life and how much more confident that I feel. 

The common belief I had during those years before my awakening, was that unless others saw me as valuable I had no actual worth. I felt worthless unless I received attention from others. This could even be negative attention in the form of abuse. Regardless I saw all attention directed at me as validation. 

This self destructive pattern was very challenging to break. I had become used to the feelings and comfortable in the uncomfortability. It wasn’t until I had the most traumatic experience of my life in an abusive relationship and hit “rock bottom” that I began to seek out ways to break free from this cycle.

Not only am I in a healthy, loving relationship with myself, but I have also gained the tools to help others break free from these patterns by first recognizing them and accepting them. This can be a difficult process as it may be almost too much to look at one’s shadow side. I believe with the proper support and loving space holding of someone who has gone through the initiation and come out on the other side transformed, you can be liberated from this type of mental bondage. 

I would love to work with your intentions and help you find greater access to self acceptance and ultimately peace with what is……

Reach out to me to share your story. I would love to hear from you. 

I spent two months in a mental hospital….

I spent two months in a mental hospital in Portland Oregon when I was 17 years old. It was actually a special "eating disorder" clinic where teenagers were locked up and force fed until they gained enough weight to be deemed "cured". 

This was in 1994 nearing the end of the "dark ages" in mental health care. Today we have much more holistic mental health care available but much improvement to be made. The time I spent in this facility was actually terrifying. I wasn't allowed to leave without supervision and I only once remember meeting with a mental health professional for "therapy". Mostly the days were about art, watching TV, meal time (torture for everyone there) and boredom. 

I actually started smoking tobacco for the first time in the hospital! My roommate was over 18 and had cigarettes and shared them with me. We were allowed to smoke in a supervised area. So I went from a food addiction to a tobacco addiction pretty quickly. Now I have both…..

Daily weight checks were torture and kept me obsessed with the numbers on the scale. There was a girl in our unit that was down to less than 80 lbs and would eventually die from heart failure. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental health diagnoses. I am lucky to be alive. 

It has been a lifetime struggle of self acceptance and self love. No outside therapy or medication can bring you there if you don't see your own value. It wasn't until the age of 44 years old when I finally had my first breakthrough moment in an Ayahuasca ceremony. Until that moment I was still continuing to self harm through negative thoughts patterns and unconscious destructive behavior.  

What this moment taught me was priceless. I was able to see myself from an outside perspective and I literally saw my inner light and absolute Beauty in that moment. It was not related to how my body looked. It had to do with my Soul. I saw my Soul reflection in the mirror of Grandmother Ayahuasca.

I still continue to face my shadow daily but I now feel as if I have a conscious choice and can choose to see myself as valuable because of the work I have done so far. It is a daily practice that requires commitment but it does get easier with practice. 

If this story resonates with you please reach out to me to support your journey towards higher levels of self acceptance. I cannot do the work for you but I can give you tips from my own personal experience and deeply hold a supportive, loving space for your own self realization process. 

I now understand that my life is my message that the trials and tribulations that I have faced made me stronger and more capable of holding space for others. I am grateful for my past. I used to be ashamed but now I see my past as a gift that I can use to help others who are struggling.

I used to hide in my closet as a child…..

I remember hiding in my closet as a child. It was dark in there and felt safe. I didn't feel safe in the world. My 6 year old self was terrified of going outside and interacting with people. I was what one might label a "shy child". Looking back I understand that my gifts as a sensitive child were not understood by my family. I was extremely socially awkward and afraid to go to school some days. Yet I understood much about feelings and had an intrinsic ability to know what people were thinking and feeling. I think that is why when I started to go through puberty at age 12 I slowly became more and more nervous. I wasn't taught how to regulate the strong emotions that I felt and in fact was shamed for expressing my emotions. 

I remember being told to stop crying or I would be punished which caused more anxiety and more emotion to flow. 

This concept of emotion was recently reframed to me as "energy in motion". I love that because it beautifully explains what is actually happening on a physical level. I now understand that I am a conductor of energy. I can sense cosmic shifts in my body and easily take on energy from my surroundings. I am what one might call a "highly sensitive empathy". I pick up energy and feelings from others and feel it with them or for them. 

This ability is a gift and a curse and I have had to learn techniques to manage in the world with what some people may consider a disability of sorts. I consider it a gift that can be utilized to help others heal themselves by feeling their feelings and releasing blockages. 

I would like to share some of my thoughts on managing the world as an empathic person. First of all, some encouragement. There is nothing wrong with you. You are perfect just the way you are. Don't let others allow you to feel weird about your gifts. Remember to breathe. I can't emphasize enough the power of your breathe for coping with emotions. Whenever I feel overwhelmed I try to remember to take a nice deep slow breath. Focused breathing is the best tool you have for moving through heavy emotions. 

Secondly I encourage you to practice self awareness techniques. Ask yourself how you are feeling. Are you overwhelmed right now? Maybe it is a time to take a break and space yourself while doing something you enjoy. I enjoy swimming and being near water so I gravitate towards places in nature that feature water. I know that my most soothing environment will be near a lake, the ocean or a bathtub. 

Thirdly, find structure in your day. This could be taking the first part of the morning to journal or feel into your body through movement practices such as yoga. Whatever it is, make it a daily practice wherever you are and whatever else may be going on that day. Make a commitment to yourself to keep to the consistency of this structured activity every day as a way to center yourself. 

Lastly, explore other mindfulness techniques and find good teachers that can help get you started and encourage you to practice. Dealing with daily anxiety is challenging but can teach us so much about ourselves forcing us to slow down and listen more deeply to our own personal needs. As an empathic being I know that my strength lies in what I was told as a child was my weakness. I understand now that I just needed to learn how to effectively focus my abilities and use them as a superpower. If you would like encouragement and guidance with cultivating your own personal coping strategies reach out to me through my website www.luminatedhearthealingarts.com

and check out my YouTube channel

https://www.youtube.com/@luminatedheart

I would love to connect with you and hear your story. 

Aloha,

Athena Rose

The Spiritual Benefits of Raw Food

My intention when making the decision to explore a Raw Food lifestyle did not include having deep spiritual revelations, but that is exactly what happened. I chose to make the shift towards eating most or all Raw Living foods because I was in pain and was desperate for relief. My partner shared with me his positive experiences from eating a diet that consisted of foods that are unprocessed and uncooked. I was curious as to how that may benefit me and impact my overall state of health.

At the age of 47 I began to experience the effects of a life of disassociation from my body’s signals including my hunger signals that are supposed to tell me when I am full. In addition, years of substance use in the form of drugs, alcohol pharmaceutical antidepressants had begun to produce negative consequences in my life. I had unconsciously used substances to “have fun” and “get high” in order to numb myself from the life challenges. I rarely thought about the long term effects of my daily habits, including my food habits on my body. It wasn’t until I was quickly nearing age 50 when my body began to really speak to me in ways that I could not deny any longer through really painful symptoms. The symptoms that I was experiencing affected all aspects of my life including my relationships, work and ability to experience Joy. My main symptoms included inflammation, acne, fatigue, headaches, brain fog, joint pain, irregular menstrual cycles and severe indigestion. I would frequently experience intense gut pain after eating, especially later in the day.

As soon as I began to shift in my diet I noticed positive benefits. My skin quality improved and my acne disappeared. My energy increased and my mental clarity improved. The physical benefits were not the only ones that I began to experience. In addition I began to have very vivid prophetic visions about my future and deep subconscious awareness arose through my dreams. During my waking life I noticed that I was able to read people’s emotions and intentions better. I even began to sense what someone was about to say and make connections between what I was seeing and feeling. My overall sense of intuition rose dramatically. This benefit increased even more so when I started juicing and fasting for extended periods of time. My psychic abilities increased and I began to “know” things about people without them telling me first. This has been extremely helpful to me in my life and is a very fascinating benefit that I did not expect from shifting my food choices!

I have heard from others that live a Raw Food lifestyle and they report similar spiritual benefits from shifting the ways in which they consume nourishment. Overall this is a fascinating aspect of eating Raw Food and I believe will ultimately allow us to shift into extra sensory abilities that we don’t even yet know about. If you are interested in exploring this particular aspect of this lifestyle, please reach out to me to schedule a free 15 consultation.

The Energetics of Food

Everything on Earth has a vibration. This has been scientifically proven. There are ways to measure the frequency of all objects. Even rocks have their own special harmonics that create their structure. Which is why healers use crystals for healing. Each crystal has it’s own unique frequency and can influence our frequency when we consciously use it for health. For example Rose Quartz, a crystal frequently associated with the Heart has a frequency of 594hz,also measured as note F on the musical scale. This is the frequency of the Heart Chakra recognized as the seat of our emotions. All living food has it’s own unique frequency as well. The highest vibrational foods are those that are Raw Living foods, such as a fresh picked blueberry. Our ancestors use to eat straight from nature, without refrigeration. All food is intrinsically tied vibrationally to it’s environment. That means that when you eat a blueberry that you grew in your garden it will naturally sync up with you and your unique health needs versus a blueberry grown across the globe by someone who you will never meet.

Gardeners who grow and eat their own food are much more connected and receive more benefits from their food than someone who buys their produce at the store. So there are many variables that determine the frequency of the food you eat and it’s impact on your health and well-being. The benefits of eating fresh raw food, regardless of who and where it is grown cannot be measured. Everyone knows logically that fresh fruits and vegetables are the most healthy foods we can eat. There is really no arguing that point to anyone. It just makes logical sense and anyone who has made the decision to incorporate more whole, raw foods into their daily diet will admit to the benefits on their overall health.

So I don’t have to convince you that whole plant food is good for you. What I would like to share here is just how profound the impact can be on your health. We are vibrational beings as well. Just as the crystals and fruits have a specific frequency, you do as well and what you eat, that is take into your vibrational field, will no doubt affect how you vibrate. I like to think of it this way. My body is an instrument that allows me to experience all of creation. That is the notes and frequencies of what I see, smell, taste, touch and hear. We all know that when you hear an instrument play music it is influenced by the player’s actions. Depending on the instrument and the skill of the player the sound that comes out of that instrument will be either pleasing (healing) or offensive (harmful) to one’s state of being. We can all agree that music itself influences our emotional state, our thoughts and therefore our overall health. So why would it not be true of the food we consume?

In summary the food choices that you make greatly influence your emotional state, thoughts and your overall health. This effect is cumulative and over time if you continue to make food choices that are harmful, acid producing processed foods such as cooked foods and the like, you will experience the affects on your health. This is the root of disease in the body and ultimately death. My experience of life has been greatly impacted by my food choices. I remember eating junk foods as a child (heavily processed sugary foods) and going through states of severe anxiety and depression. Couple this with the experience of growing up in the modern society and you will have a very unhappy individual in adulthood. This was certainly the case for me. I suffered greatly in my teenage years with suicidal thoughts and eating disorders. I began to hate food and see it as a threat. I had a great Awakening at age 14 that changed how I viewed food and ultimately allowed me to see how much my food choices influenced my outlook on life.

It IS possible to heal, through the knowledge and awareness of the impact that food has on our life experience. I am living proof of that and I would love to work with you if you are feeling called towards exploring a Raw Living foods lifestyle. This truly is a paradigm shift and for those who are ready it will change your life for the better in ways you cannot imagine. Reach out to me to schedule a free 15 minute consultation and get a sense of who I am and how I can be in Service to you.

What does Pain teach us?

First off, we can all agree that no one likes pain. Some of us may identify with our pain but ultimately suffering is universal, not something that we strive for. We are biologically created to gravitate towards comfort. Yet, the human experience is riddled with pain and suffering. What is that? Are we supposed to suffer? What does pain teach us about life?

Well, for one, it can teach us to be grateful for those times when we are not experiencing pain. Is that all it teaches us? To be grateful? In my experience pain can be the catalyst for behavioral change. For example if you touch something hot out of curiosity you will likely change your behavior and not touch that thing again because of the pain you experience. Right? Well, many of us continue to do things that harm us and cause pain. So why is that? Maybe sometimes it takes many painful experiences before we learn the lesson. Maybe we actually enjoy the pain in some way and so therefore continue the behavior that causes pain for us. If that is the case, then what is the root of that desire to be in pain? This is a question that I have been asking myself lately. Here is what I have come to understand so far….

For myself, I feel that I have been programmed at a young age to expect pain. The first time I experienced pain was when I was born. I have given birth before and understand the process, the baby must experience extreme pain in order to come into the world. So that is our initiation into life. Pain. I believe that this initial first experience as a human ends up literally programming us to expect painful experiences from life. But, is that really what we want? I certainly do not want to continue to experience pain in order to really enjoy life, but maybe that is part of life? I remember listening to Ram Dass teachings towards the end of his life and he frequently would state “suffering is Grace”. That really woke me up to a different concept around pain and suffering. How can suffering be good for me?

These are all questions that I continue to sit with daily. I have a lot of curiosity as to whether or not we actually need to continue to suffer in order to fully experience and appreciate life in all of it’s facets. My heart wants to be free from pain and suffering, that is my daily prayer. The most challenging part of parenting for me has been the experience of witnessing my children and grandchildren experience pain. For myself, when I see them suffering it hurts me deeply because I wish to save them from their pain. Ultimately I realize that pain can assist us at this time of the Great Awakening. This is because the pain we experience can liberate us from our unconscious behaviors. It can swiftly move us in a different direction and radically change our behavior towards those that ultimately benefit our desire for comfort.

To summarize here, I still have much to ponder about pain and its benefits for us. I do hold the hope for humanity to evolve in such a way as to continue to learn and grow without the need for pain. I have been extremely grateful for my life on a daily basis because of pain and the awareness of pain and suffering in the world. So many humans are deeply identified with their pain. I wish to understand more about how we can transcend pain and be free from suffering. I do know that Raw Living foods can teach us how to embrace peace. This can happen through the pure enjoyment of these sources of nourishment and the vibration of peace that they carry. When we choose to consume these foods and incorporate the wisdom that they carry, we can learn in an enjoyable way without pain and suffering.

How can Raw Foods Heal?

I recently had a major epiphany. Raw whole foods actually have intelligence! This revelation came at a pivotal time in my life. A time where I was feeling extremely challenged by the thought of eating solid food. You see, my gut had not been my friend for a while. I struggled with daily gas, bloating and indigestion for much of my life. On this particular day I noticed how afraid I was at the thought of taking a bite of grapefruit, one of my favorite fruits in the world. I woke up to the fact that I can ask this food to come into my body in order to help me, not harm me. I asked my body to receive this fruit in the best possible way. This intentional communication with what I was about (the grapefruit) to consume and my body as the receptive vessel, created a profound shift in my awareness.

I noticed that this awareness brought presence to the act of eating. I noticed that most of my life I have quickly eaten food without thanking Mama Earth for the nourishment and did not check in with my body before eating. As I began to eat this Sacred Blessing we call grapefruit, I took my time and really looked deeply into the fruit. I noticed how beautifully it was structured, how much intelligence went into its design. I noticed the color, the texture, the smell, the taste as I put it into my mouth. I used all of my senses to celebrate the Miracle of this sustenance. I continued to thank the fruit and Mama Earth for the bounty and slowly introduced the grapefruit to my body through slow conscious chewing and allowing my salvia to incorporate with the food. Wow! Let me tell you I had been really missing out on the pleasure that this fruit can really offer! There is even more……

This is the point when I realized that this grapefruit has its own unique intelligence to offer to me! How had I not understood this before? Maybe on a logical level, but now I was really feeling this in my body as I took the time to slow down and actually receive this Wisdom fully. I finally integrated that logic on a deep level and now understand in my body the gift of Raw Living food for healing. This grapefruit was just packed with codes for healing beyond anything I had noticed before. This food literally can heal my body and I do not need to be afraid of it! This awareness shifted me into a state of utter complete gratitude for the unconditional Love of Mama Earth.

If you would like to explore these teachings further with me, reach out to schedule a free 15 minute consultation. I would love to introduce you to the gift of a Raw Food lifestyle for health, longevity and evolutionary awareness.