Why it’s critical that Mothers have support.
During my late teenage years I became unexpectedly pregnant with my first child. I was only 18 years old and had no clue how to take care of myself, let alone an infant. At the age of 19 years old I gave birth to a baby boy that was to spend the next 2 weeks in the NICU inside of an incubator and eventually grow up and develop severe schizophrenia. My 28 year old first born son is now currently housed in the state mental hospital and heavily medicated in order to control the paranoid thoughts that have pledged him since early childhood.
Looking backwards, if I had the support and education that I really needed as a young Mama, I believe that my son would be a much healthier adult. Unfortunately in our current society mother’s are not supported in the ways they should be. In these modern times, mothers are expected to contribute to the household income and make sure that there are plenty of resources for themselves and their children. It has been very common for me to hear from mother’s that their partner does not support them equally and expects them to take care of the household responsibilities, care for the children’s needs and provide a source of income for the family. In my years of holding Wombyn’s circles I frequently hold space for women as they cry frustrated tears and lament their choice to have a child.
That is to say if the mother even has a partner at home…..I have spent 13+ years as a single mother now. The rate of single parents in the US is a staggering 27% according to the most recent US Census. Of those single parents documented, 80% of them are mothers. There are over 11 million single parent families in the US. With the rates this high, chances are you know a single mama. That being said we all have a responsibility to help raise the children from these households. Of course single father’s need help as well. We all need to pay more attention to our neighbors and community members and get out of our fears around “getting too involved”. Change will not happen if brave souls are not willing to step forth and assist those that need help.
In kind, single parents need to be encouraged to ask for help. It is a totally unreasonable expectation that single parents or any parents for that matter take care of these precious future generations without some serious community support. As a single mother I definitely could have used more support but I did have some special angelic beings step up and assist me when I needed help. There was an elderly man who lived across the street from me when I was raising a young transgender autistic child and also doing my best to support myself and my alcoholic boyfriend. Even though I felt lost and frustrated and eventually broke up with the boyfriend, this kind neighbor was a safe space for my son to go and receive loving attention.
There are many ways we can support single parents in our community. One of which is to get to know our neighbors. To be bold enough to form relationships and show kindness, even if it is in small ways, such as saying hello or sharing a meal. I would have really appreciated occasional child care from my neighbors, even just a small break after work so that I could take a bath and have a quiet house for a moment. These small respites are critical for the mental health and physical well being of parents. Supporting parents translates into healthier communities, less crime, less addiction and less suffering in the world.
I am on a mission to be a supportive person in the lives of parents, especially single mothers. Those brave souls who have chosen to bring life into the world, so that humanity can continue to live are worthy of our attention. If you know someone that needs support, please reach out to them and offer a hand. I am available to support single parents by holding space as a counselor, mentor and guide. I know the need for encouragement to take time to relax and I understand the pressures that single parents feel everyday for a long time….
Reach out to me to let me know how I can support your needs and assist you with finding time to attend to your own needs. We all need encouragement sometimes to slow down and make ourselves the priority so that we can show up for our children in the best possible way.
Aloha,
Athena Rose
Luminated Heart Healing Arts
